Assassinating Insecurities – Song of Songs 3

Assassinating Insecurities

“6 Who is this coming up from the wilderness
    like a column of smoke,
perfumed with myrrh and incense
    made from all the spices of the merchant?
Look! It is Solomon’s carriage,
    escorted by sixty warriors,
    the noblest of Israel,
all of them wearing the sword,
    all experienced in battle,
each with his sword at his side,
    prepared for the terrors of the night.
King Solomon made for himself the carriage;
    he made it of wood from Lebanon.
10 Its posts he made of silver,
    its base of gold.
Its seat was upholstered with purple,
    its interior inlaid with love.
Daughters of Jerusalem, 11 come out,
    and look, you daughters of Zion.
Look[h] on King Solomon wearing a crown,
    the crown with which his mother crowned him
on the day of his wedding,
    the day his heart rejoiced.”
  Song of Songs 3:6-11

The verses in Song of Songs 3:6-11 refers to the wedding of Solomon and Shulamith.  As we read this, we need to keep in mind that the writing structure of the Song of Songs is not necessarily in chronological order.  Solomon’s lavish preparations for his bride shows a love that is not giving grudgingly, but rather cares enough to give of his very best.  Since love highly values the one who is loved, it spares no expense and takes all the steps necessary to ensure honor, comfort, and security to the one it cherishes.  Because love wants to bring the greatest pleasure to the one that is loved, it spares no effort to provide all that it can. 

Though very few people could match the scale of Solomon’s costly wedding procession in monetary figures, it is also true that all those who truly love each other should not hold back what they can give to provide for their spouse.  The point is that as spouses, we must be relentless and aggressive in attacking the fears of your spouse.  Do not spare any expense when it comes to attacking her insecurities.  Be extravagant in the use of your resources to assassinate the fears and insecurities of your spouse.

I remember a time when Laura and I were dating in Hilo back in 1998.  There was a female friend that I was very close to, but Laura felt very insecure about.  My friend came to town and wanted to meet for lunch.  Being young and naïve (aka… stupid), I decided to meet my friend without telling Laura because we had no ill intentions and Laura’s knowing would only worry her.  After setting up the time, I felt a deep conviction that being deceptive to Laura was not a good way to begin our relationship, so I thought I shouldn’t go through with the lunch.  Since my friend was going to meet me (and we didn’t have cell phones at the time), I decided to go and tell her that we might meet some other time.

While I was walking to see my friend, Laura was walking down the campus.  She spotted my friend (who Laura knew didn’t live in town) and then she saw me walking to go and meet her. 

Needless to say, this led to a huge fight between Laura and I which I knew I was totally at fault for. 

While that was an awful experience, I can say that since that time, I made a commitment to Laura that I would not be alone with ANY OTHER women, even if Laura had no concern about it.  I made a commitment to aggressively attack any insecurity that my wife to be may have had.  It is now 15 years later, and 12 years into our marriage, and I am glad to say that my commitment to attack any insecurity my wife may have, has become a routine practice. 

Love makes the decision to pay the price to kill the insecurity and fears of the one who is loved.      

Holy Spirit I ask for Your continued empowerment to be relentless in assassinating my wife’s insecurities so that I may be a part of making her whole in You.  Lord I pray that I would help her to be the happiest wife in the world because if she is, then I will be married to the happiest wife in the world!  Amen! 

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